Playing Smash when your Friends are better

We’ve all been there: you’re hanging with the crew, having a great time, when someone breaks out the switch. It’s time to smash. Everyone’s excited, maybe some substances have been consumed, we’re all having fun, and then you realize: one or two of these people REALLY know how to play. Suddenly you’re hearing words like neutral, DI, teching, juggling, and wave-dashing. They’re talking about tilts and tap jump, and by the time you understand what’s being said you’re friends and you are all dead, and they still have all five stocks. Now you face the question thousands of gamers have dealt with across the world: how the fuck are we supposed to have fun when we’re so clearly outmatched that it’s ridiculous?

To answer this question, we must go back and remember something incredibly important: This is a video GAME. The point is not necessarily to win. The point is to have fun. This isn’t to say that there’s something wrong with wanting to win, but that it’s simply not always the best mindset to have when fighting with the gang. We’re here to play and have fun, not to prove who the best is at the game. But that alone is not enough. Changing one’s mindset is good, but you still have to change the material conditions that led you to this place.

STEP 1: Get the tryhard games out of the way first - You’re gonna want a few tryhard games where everyone’s playing their mains to start out. You don’t want to do too many of these, losing over and over again does get boring, but we need to give the most skilled at least a little enrichment. It is, after all, pretty fun to do something very very well, and there’s no reason why we should completely punish the people who want to get a little sweaty with it. But, once we’ve had it out on final destination and battlefield it’s time to move forward and make this something for everyone.

STEP 2: Turn on Items - For some people, this is anathema. Items inherently unbalance the game, and can completely negate a player's skill through the power of a bullshit assist trophy. To an extent, they can make the game a bit of an item race, where it’s just who can get the shiny thing first. BUT they do provide for some hilarious situations. You can’t look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t enjoy hitting your much better friend with a hammer when they least expect it. And connecting on a homerun bat smash attack? What a gorgeous, beautiful time. Now, you can adjust your items a bit, maybe you want a few less assist trophies and pokemon balls, but no matter what: you gotta give Kirby a laser gun. It’s a moral imperative.

STEP 3: Change those stages - They built a bunch of stages for a reason guys. Yes if you want the purest experience you can stick to your tournament approved list and play like the pros do. But you’re not getting paid like the pros. You’re drunk with your friends on a Friday night and one of you has made your name THE TREES while you play Solid Snake. Put on Temple, get in the fucking cave of death, and start swinging. Yes the stage gimmicks can be annoying, and nobody likes it when Dialga and Palkia invert your controls, but also, knocking your opponent into the bulborbs mouth on Distant Planet fucking rocks. And if you don’t like what the game has given you: build your own weird stages! We had one called the cube: A giant enclosed cube with exactly one exit point at the top. It was beautiful.

STEP 4: Random or you’re a coward - What it says on the tin folks. Get off of those mains, and go pick a character you’ve never played before. Hit the random button, spin the wheel, and try to learn how to play Olimar on the fly. And once the shine from that has worn off: start doing some weird challenges. Everyone play Ganon. Start space-furry posting. Everyone go to sword hell and try to only hit tippers. All Solid Snakes and make it so you can hear his ass clap from outside the screen. Whatever it is, start doing weird shit! Yes I get it, you know every piece of frame data for Young Link and can zero to death in 30 different ways, but can you yell Pichu PI while flinging yourself like a high powered rocket at the enemy? Because I can do that, and it’s fuckin fun as hell.

Now looking at these steps you might say to yourself: Alex, isn’t this just playing the game? Why did you need to enumerate steps that account to “Play the game how it was intended to be played?” And you’re right! It is just playing the game! And perhaps in your life you’ve never had any struggle like this. But I’ve seen people sometimes forget what the point of these games is. It’s not about winning and proving that you are the best among your friends. It’s about seeing Isabelle from Animal Crossing shoot Cloud Strife with a laser gun. It’s about seeing Kirby hit Solid Snake with a hammer while Mewtwo and Sephiroth have an edgy quote off in the corner. This is the beauty of Smash: The absolute absurdity present in these games and the comedic situations that emerge because of them.

Now while the method present here doesn’t track directly onto more standard fighting games like Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter, the principle remains the same. You are here to have fun. Stop playing like your livelihood depends on the game, and start just goofing around. Play the characters that look cool, not just the ones at the top of some tier list you read somewhere. These are games about elemental ninjas and their eternal beef and a very tall Thai man trying to kick a much smaller Japanese man in the face while Raul Julia delivers the greatest lines you’ve ever heard in your god damn life. Also whatever the fuck family drama is happening in Tekken. These are very silly games! Embrace it! It’s so much fun! You look at Voldo in Soul Calibur and tell me I should be taking this all deadly seriously!

In essence, it’s the same kind of mindset you gotta bring to something like karaoke or pick up sports. There will be better singers and athletes than you. If you only try to be the best, you will be disappointed when you inevitably fall short. Instead, remember that these things are meant to be fun. Go sing that song that’s well out of your range and just fucking send it. Pretend for a second you are Michael Jordan or Diego Maradona and try something insane that has no chance of success. If it works? You’re a god. If it doesn’t? Who cares! We’re only on this planet for a short time, and if you only ever focus on some type of winning, it’s gonna be a shitty short time. Life is absurd. Nothing makes sense. Embrace it, let the silly flow through you, and make Sora, Kazuya Mishima, and Sonic the Hedgehog fight to the death with laser swords. You’ll be much happier for it.